Death of the Easter Bunny…


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Jesus Christ was crucified,
a sacrifice of love,
that brought forgiveness of our sins
in death from God above.
Which makes me question what’s the deal
with giving chocolate eggs?
And why an Easter Bunny with
his hippy hoppy legs?

I ponder and I contemplate,
it makes not any sense
and nobody can tell me why
we humour this pretence.
I’ve called the church and googled it
and written to the Pope.
But none can offer answers
or can give me any hope.

I figured it’s a mystery
for me to figure out,
I have to catch the Bunny
and then ask what it’s about.
So I loaded up my van
I felt like Elma Fudd,
‘Be vewy vewy quiet,
hunting wabbit’s magic blood’

I found him standing in the street
with chocolate eggs for sale,
and so I gave him every chance
to speak the Bunny’s tale.
Persistent in my questions asked,
he begged me please to stop,
then angry as his threats began
to leave and call a cop.

But I couldn’t let it go
and tipped out all his eggs
and as he bent to pick them up,
I broke his fucking legs.
Then suddenly as shock kicked in,
I dragged him to the van
and swiftly bundled him inside
and so the night began.

I quickly took him to my house,
to basement under floor
and tightly tied him up so I
could question him some more.
Hogtied, scared and at my feet,
I simply ask him why.
‘Please don’t hurt me, it’s a suit,
I’m just a normal guy’

Not the answer that I seek,
there’s got to be a link
between the Bunny and the Cross,
it really makes you think.
So I built a wooden cross
to see what it could be,
to test a theory in my mind,
I guess we’ll wait and see.

Is the Bunny tied to God?
Is he pure and wise?
So then I nailed the bastard up
to see if he will rise.
But I find three days have passed
and clearly he’s still dead,
so I skinned and gutted him
for rabbit stew instead.

Waste not, want not so they say,
I fed on him all week,
but still I am no wiser
to the answers that I seek.
But it opens other doors
to things that I must know
to question all the things in life
and help my spirit grow.

Like what’s the deal with Christmas time
between the birth of Christ
and a fat guy in a big red suit
and gifts so overpriced?
That creepy bastard, Santa Claus
is next upon my list
and he’d better have some answers
or he will be sorely missed.

See you at Christmas Time Kiddies…