Spicing Up the Sex Life: The Week of Hell…

She said our sex life was mundane
and had become routine
so we should spice it up a bit
indulge in the obscene
So I figured what the Hell?
Lets give it a go,
it should be fun to mix it up,
rekindle passion’s flow.

Monday we tried dressing up,
I donned a Batman suit
and she Catwoman to my Bat,
we’d thought we’d have a hoot.
I leapt from wardrobe to the light
and swung to hear the crack,
the ceiling caved around us both
and I threw out my back.

Tuesday we tried role-play,
I met her in a bar,
the gangster and the hooker
we messed round in the car.
A tap upon the window’s glass,
a frowning, outraged cop
who booked us for soliciting
because we wouldn’t stop.

Wednesday I surprised her
by leaping in the room
naked as my boner sprang
‘She’ll like this’ I assume
‘GERONIMO!!!’ I called out loud
and then began to choke,
her mum and gran were sitting there,
her gran then had a stroke.

Thursday we got kinky,
I chained her to the bed,
aroused to see her naked form
and naughty words she said.
a banging on the door revealed
her angry, ranting dad
who called to speak of yesterday
but saw her then went mad.

Friday, naked she sat on
my back atop a saddle
she spanked my arse coz in each hand,
she swung a ping-pong paddle
She rode me round til I was sore,
through all the rooms and halls,
til I collapsed when one mis-swing
had caught me in the balls.

Saturday we calmed it down,
massage with scented oils
to help relieve this week of hell
and all it’s sex game toils,
til I felt something part my arse,
was not a nice surprise
“Vibrating Dildo 5000”
brought tears to my eyes.
I bit down on the pillow hard,
not much that I could say,
I clawed the plaster from the walls,
a bid to get away.

By Sunday, I had had enough,
and told her ‘Please, no more…
I miss mundane, I like routine,
just like it was before…
No more costumes, chains or spanks,
or objects in my arse,
no more surprises you have planned,
or schemes you must surpass.’
‘Fine’ she said ‘I’ll call my friend
and cancel our three-way’
I looked at her through narrowed eyes,
my jaw dropped in dismay.
‘Don’t be hasty by my words’
I grinned and calmly tried
‘Good, coz Bernard’s on his way’
she said and so I cried…

…And cried… And cried…